Basic Proposition to You
So long as you accept or put-out-there that there is a “problem” and that people with Adhd/Dyslexia are “broken” and need to “fixed” then you will miss all of the benefits of these two situations of Dyslexia and Adhd. You will miss the benefits because you are invested in the problem and solving the problem - as most well meaning helpers needed to "solve problems" to justify themselves.
This blog page introduces you to the benefits of Dyslexia and Adhd and how to get at those benefits. What is most important to keep in mind is this: “getting at the benefits and benefiting from them” is a particular benefit itself of Dyslexia and Adhd itself. In other words, the person WITH Dyslexia and Adhd is the one best suited to focus on the benefits.
Ahdh/Dyslexia Have Built In Solutions, Self-Organizing Solutions
Dyslexia and Adhd are actually hard-wired to include their own self-organizing, self-correcting skills. There is a lot of buzz about self-organizing systems nowadays, and I offer to you now that Dyslexia and Adhd are self-organizing preset conditions that have huge built-in benefits not the least of which is the self-awareness and creativity needed to understand them… a skill-set that is built in. People without these conditions can only “see” them from the outside. They can only see the behavior, not how the conditions actually function from within. (Not unlike Masters and Johnson, assuming they were not people themselves, to study human sexuality without actually having any way to experience it themselves… they can study the “behavior” but not experience the condition at all… by way of an “example.”)
The Key Is Self Contained
The trouble is, however, that most outside counselors, teachers, psychologists, parents and caregivers by treating the person with Dyslexia and Adhd as “broken” and in need of being “fixed” actually create the “problem.” I mean it exactly that way: they create the “problem” by treating it as a “broken situation” that needs “fixing.” That is the problem. It is a common trait of consultants, psychologists, etc. – to fix problems. To be good at their profession, they have to have problems to fix.
Here is the basic proposition:
One cannot understand Dyslexia and Adhd except by behavioral observation. Outside observers cannot find their way through what is a unique-self-organizing-internal-mental-preset of how things are ordered if they bring a “broken-fix-it” mind-set to bear. Here is why:
To roam around effectively within one’s psyche takes three key foundational qualities. They are:
If you were to roam around inside your psyche with the basis of your awareness being that you are broken, need to be fixed, have indefinable problems that cause your relationships to fail, need self-discipline and self-control, then, that attitude tears down the self-worth, self-trust and self-love needed to see the benefits.
If you are “broken” then there is something “wrong” with you and that assumption destroys the development of the three key foundational qualities from the get-go.
Roam Through The Mind
You will not find the benefits of Adhd/Dyslexia unless you roam around inside your own psyche… doing it yourself. Others cannot do this for you.Therapists rarely can help at all as they will "roam" only into areas that they find comfortable to them.
One of the key reasons is that the manifestation of Adhd/Dyslexia is mostly unique, one-off, odd-ball-special-to-you. So finding out about how others’ manifestations work is, perhaps, somewhat useful in helping you to see that you can relax about the topic, but, you are otherwise on your own with this. Group therapies may help in other areas but insofar as "roaming around in your own psyche" is concerned you really have to get comfortable with yourself as the only "roamer".
Create Your Own Solutions
Outside Help Confined To
The Three Key Qualities
Outside help should confine itself to helping you learn how to build self-worth, self-trust, and self-love. "Help" does not “help” by identifying how you are broken. You are not broken. You do have a different method of establishing importance, perceiving things (perceptual picture-making is unique), how you focus on yourself and your life, and how you “see” things in the imagination.
Never mind about other people until you have your own self and your own life coming into focus (not “done” just a solid work-in-progress.) This is not unlike AA in which the idea is: do not engage in relationships until you are sober for a year or two.
Same idea here: do not attempt personal relationships UNTIL the basis of self-worth/trust/love have been established. You will know because you will feel great about it.
To understand your own unique manifestations of these and other qualities of Dyslexia and Adhd means that you have to explore your own psyche gently and using a positive outlook about yourself.
If you attempt to explore your psyche from the standpoint of your being broken and being critical about yourself you cannot succeed. First you have to create a positive basis for self-worth, self-trust, and self-love. Building the positive self-attitude is your work, and, it should be the work of outside helpers - not drugging the symptoms.
You will know because you will feel awful about it if they are lacking, and great about yourself when they are on-the-build.
Your feelings will be your guide.
Any outside source-person, book-etc. that behaves toward you that makes you feel awful is not good. Your work is to create self-worth, self-trust, and self-love and then explore to find the benefits of Dyslexia and Adhd.
I could go a step further and say: “therapy in this situation must focus on helping the person to establish, to gain, to create, to find self-worth, self-trust, and self-love.” That is it.
From there you look for the benefits of Dyslexia and Adhd, and, you will find them all over the place. But, they will not necessarily be benefits as others may see them. Hence, the need for self-worth. It is the basis for allowing yourself to find your uniqueness, to value it, and not to fuss with others’ opinions.